Thursday, September 4, 2014

I Am Going to Live!

I have neglected the blog. I have so many things on my plate right now, and I am learning that you just have to let some things go in order to give 100% to other projects.

Josh had scans at the end of August. They looked fabulous. The Tecfidera is working, no active lesions, and basically, it was the best report we could have received from Dr. Emily. So right now, I feel like we are kicking MS down to the ground and standing on it with our feet. Will this shift and MS hold us down? Maybe. But for right now, if I am keeping score, it is Beasley's-1 and MS-0. Josh is afraid to let his guard down and I get that. BUT I feel like sometimes you have to celebrate the good and not let what ifs get in the way.

Our family is great.Our family is crazy. Every day is a rat race. I love it.

We are in the thick of raising 3 children 5 and under. It is hard, messy, and exhausting, but last night, I really thought about all of this as I was cooking and Russell was pulling on my pants screaming. This is the life! No really- this is the life. Anabelle loves k-5. She does some pretty random things and asks me pretty random things, but she is thriving everyday. While watching football, I looked over at "my baby" and was blown away- She was hanging out on the couch, munching on food, and she looked like a teenager. Jack- oh man... he has the biggest heart. He always ends up being the peacemaker in arguments. He adores Anabelle and will do whatever she tells him to do. (Like strip down naked and run through the house or down the driveway) He is doing great at his new school. He has a new friend who is now his "buddy." Jack calls him wuuke. (Luke) And Russell- this little guy is on the move. He is walking and jib jabbing about everything. Last night he ate cantaloupe, a bowl of chili, pasta, and two pieces of garlic bread. I am going to have to start tripling recipes now. I can't imagine what it will be like when he is older!!

My friend Elizabeth was given a devastating diagnosis- Stage 4 triple negative breast cancer. The scan showed that she had at least 4 hot spots on her bones indicating that the cancer had traveled to her bones. She was told there is no treatment to cure and that surgery was out. Prognosis is 3 years. She went for a bone scan yesterday, a week after her other scan, and the bone scan came back clean. CLEAN!! No bone cancer, back to stage 3, treatment and surgery available, Hallelujah! Her text to me after the results was: My bone cancer is gone! I am going to live!! Wow- best text message every!

This makes me think... am I living? Really living? Do I spend my time preparing for the future and not enjoying every little day? Are we as a family really living? Are we worried about material things vs. time together? Time we could spend traveling?

I asked Josh this the other night while we were hanging out on the deck. People tell us all of the time- don't blink, enjoy your children while they are young, soak it up. My question to him was- Are we really doing this? I try, but am I still going to look back and wish I would have "lived more?" I struggle with this and sometimes it is hard not to pray for bedtime to come sooner. I mean, when the 3 year old is running around like a crazy person, the 5 year old is spraying every inch of brick she can get to with all of our bug spray, and the 1 year old is playing in the toilet, you just can't help it. My goal is to roll with it, embrace it, suck up the craziness, and just live.

Happy Thursday! We have a busy weekend coming up with lots to do. I am thankful for that. I am going to live it up!


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