Josh took a trip to Phoenix this past week to celebrate one of our college friends who is getting married. I will say I was a nervous wreck. NOT because it was a bachelor party, but I was a wreck because it was Josh's first "big"trip since his diagnosis. Now, he is 34 years old. He can definitely take care of himself. AND his MS is relapsing and has so far been pretty kind to him. But I think the Mama bear came out in me. I felt like I needed to be with him in case he had an attack or if the Tecfidera caused him to have any severe side effects. He did have some issues with washout in one of his eyes. I was disappointed that he had to deal with on his trip, but in the scheme of things, it was minor. Of course I asked a thousand questions, but in the end, he was fine and had a relaxing time.
I am not sure if I will ever really get over the need to be with Josh every minute to make sure he is okay. I am also not sure if the anticipation of an attack or flare up will ever go away. Is this normal? I am not sure. Is it my new normal? Maybe so. I think anytime you receive life-changing news, well, life itself changes. The way you handle things, routines, looking to the future, all of those things change.
I have been doing research, reading blogs, etc. I have found that I can focus on statistics, negative outcomes, and negative outlooks OR I can read uplifting stories, focus on positive outcomes, and live for the day. I think looking to my religion, scripture, and beliefs really helps me to do this. I tend to worry about days to come. What is the point? One- I can't really do much about it today. Two- We are not promised tomorrow- MS or no MS!! I am choosing to take this whole life thing one day at a time.
We had a fantastic day yesterday. The weather in Hoover was 70, breezy, and sunny. We spent the day outside playing, walking the trails, and watching the kids spray bubble mixture all over my van. (Poor van:)
At the end of the evening, Josh decided to do front flips and back flips on the trampoline. This made me smile and kind of snicker. MS? Not today:) Josh definitely was the winner of the weekend:)